You Must Understand Anxiety To Overcome Anxiety

If you were sat face to face with the world’s leading expert in anxiety, what would you ask him? 

Well, I’m lucky to say that I had the privilege of interviewing the renowned Dr. Russell Kennedy — also known as AnxietyMD – and we had a super interesting conversation on what it takes to actually heal anxiety. 

In addition to being a professional neuroscientist, Dr. Kennedy has experienced chronic anxiety since childhood and has traveled across the world to master holistic methodologies for overcoming anxiety. 

He’s not just coming from it as a clinician observing symptoms, he’s walked the walk and he knows that sometimes traditional therapy fails to genuinely heal us from the root cause of our anxiety. 

This is truly an episode I personally love coming back to and I learn something new every time. 

Our discussion had one goal: to unravel the enigma of anxiety in our hyper-speed world and reveal the keys to liberating our mental, physical, and even spiritual well-being.

Strap in because we’re getting (a bit!) nerdy and we’re getting really, brutally honest about:

1. Why anxiety is so hard to overcome
2. How our childhood traumas affect us today
3. Practical strategies we can apply to start our healing journey
   
   

Unveiling Where Anxiety Comes From: The Body’s ALARM System 

Have you ever wondered what really lies beneath the surface of anxiety? Dr. Kennedy shared some fascinating insights that can help us unravel the mysteries of anxiety. He introduced us to two powerful acronyms - Alarm and JABS - that shed light on what causes anxiety.

But before we jump into these acronyms, Dr. Kennedy stresses that we must understand that feelings of anxiety are essentially an alarm bell our nervous system rings when something triggers us.

What could these triggers be that send us to fits of fight or flight responses? That’s where the ALARM acronym comes in:

A stands for Abuse: Dr. Kennedy explains that unresolved trauma, particularly from emotional, physical, or sexual abuse during childhood, can be at the core of anxiety. These painful experiences are stored in the body, acting as an alarm system that triggers the same thoughts and feelings of unsafety you felt at the time of the abuse.

L stands for Loss: Significant losses in our lives, such as parents' divorce, the death of a loved one or even a pet, or severe illness during childhood can create a sense of alarm that persists within us. This form of anxiety can also manifest as abandonment or attachment issues.

A stands for Abandonment: Feeling abandoned by caregivers or being the odd one out among siblings can also lead to anxiety. This deep emotional wound can become part of our internal alarm system so if we ever feel like someone’s about to abandon us, our body goes into stress-mode.

R stands for Rejection: Bullying or any form of rejection experienced during childhood can leave a lasting imprint in our bodies. These experiences contribute to the alarm that surfaces as anxiety later in life where we are hypervigilant .

M stands for Maturity Too Early: Anything that forces a child to take on responsibilities beyond their years can be a source of anxiety. It's as if they had to grow up too quickly, and this early maturation becomes a component of the alarm system.

Let’s be honest, most of us have faced at least one, if not multiple, of these traumas growing up. 

The point of the ALARM acronym isn’t just to identify what led you to anxiety, it’s a reminder that you’re hurting and you need love, compassion, and patience to heal.

We’ll dive a little deeper into JABS – the second powerful acronym Dr. Kennedy discussed — at the end when we talk about childhood trauma in particular. 

For now, let’s address a question that’s probably on a lot of people’s minds; why do I still have anxiety after trying therapy. 

Why Your Anxiety Isn’t Going Away (Hint Hint … Therapy Isn’t Everything!) 

Not everyone can tell you this, but there is only one physiological reason that triggers our anxiety, and that is when we feel unsafe.

Whether you feel unsafe physically, emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually determines whether or not anxious feelings will show up for you. 

The reason so many people still struggle with anxiety is because so many clinical, traditional healing modalities focus on providing tools to cope with having anxiety as opposed to actually healing it. 

And if you don’t uncover the root of why you feel unsafe to begin with, the reality is you’ll continue to feel that way. 

As Dr. Kennedy puts it, there’s a big difference between just coping with anxiety and truly healing from it on an emotional and embodied level. 

If you’re someone who’s struggled with anxiety and has tried several therapies or healing methods, this is a good reminder to pay attention to your body as well as your mental and emotional health. 

Many traditional therapies also neglect the importance of ridding the body of anxiety as well as the mind. The body stores emotional data from your past experiences and those resurface as trauma if you get triggered. 

So until you go back to the past and reconcile with it, your traumas from the past will catch up to you. 

And that takes us to our next major talking point, and that is addressing how to heal our wounded inner child from the traumas that still show up for us today.

The Lingering Effects of Childhood Trauma and JABS

Unhealed trauma in our wounded inner child is responsible for many of our anxieties. So if you heal your wounded inner child, you will heal most of the traumas and anxieties. 

To get a better (and more compassionate!) understanding of just how our wounded inner child still affects us today, let’s dive into Dr. Kennedy’s JABS acronym which encapsulates the deep emotional responses tied to our anxiety. 

To start, keep in mind that Dr. Kennedy refers to these emotional triggers as ‘taking jabs’ at yourself. That’s how it feels like to the wounded child within who feels these JABS:

J stands for Judgment: When children experience trauma, they often blame themselves, leading to self-judgment. This harsh self-criticism becomes a part of the anxiety cycle.

A stands for Abandonment: Just as with the ALARM acronym, abandonment makes an appearance here too. Self-abandonment can occur as individuals detach from their own feelings and needs due to past traumas.

B stands for Blame: Those who've endured trauma tend to internalize blame, holding themselves accountable for the events that occurred. This self-blame contributes to anxiety by perpetuating a cycle of guilt.

S stands for Shame: Shame is a powerful emotion that can linger long after traumatic experiences. It becomes deeply ingrained within us and contributes to the ongoing alarm system within our bodies.

Of all the emotions that can wound a child, feelings of judgment, abandonment, blame, and shame are likely to cause the deepest emotional damage carrying on to adulthood. 

But how do we actually break the cycle of anxiety and heal our inner child from this trauma?

The answer might be underwhelming but it’s the real truth backed by neuroscience and years of research into human behavior: self-love is the most important thing for your inner child to feel. 

Remember, your wounded inner child also years to feel loved, connected, and soothed by a compassionate caregiver. They didn’t feel cared for back then, so they need to feel it now.

If you do not feel loved, you do not feel safe. So how can you expect to reclaim your inner power if you don’t love yourself?

A Quick Review:

• There’s a difference between coping with anxiety and actually healing it 
• A lot of traditional and clinical therapies neglect to address the past 
• Trauma doesn’t just affect your mind and emotional wellness, it affects your body
• To heal from your past, you must reconcile with your wounded inner child 
• Breaking the cycle of anxiety starts with self-love and self-compassion

Remember: anxiety isn't a life sentence; it's just a pesky chain in your nervous system that can be rewired! 

And when you harness the power of emotional mastery, of tuning into your body, of soothing your inner child, it's like finding the secret door to your inner sanctuary, where healing awaits.

CHECK OUT THE PODCAST EPISODE WITH DR. RUSSEL KENNEDY, "THE ANXIETY MD"